Apr 29 2009

I Dint VOTE! I Am A Cipher!

  • Vote for Change!
  • Get Out And Vote!
  • Be The Change, Go Vote!
  • Remember 30th April!

Realizing sincerely and early that one has to be the CHANGE rather than just asking for one, I have been trying to become an above average citizen by doing my bit for the CHANGE that we are all craving so much for. The dhobi list of things that I have been getting myself into in context with the ELECTIONS 2009, since the past few weeks has been endless…

  • Went to “Know Your Candidate” Sessions
  • Attended the JAAGO RE Session in Dadar
  • Made a full research of the 23/24 candidates of our Mumbai South Constituency. Even went to the level of understanding the kind of Criminal Records that some of our candidates had.
  • Added Myself into almost every community related to Chembur on ORKUT , trying to force regular Election News and induce the “VOTE for a Change” mood into the members!
  • Blogged my way into everything that just mentioned the “E” word.
  • Preached to friends and relatives about importance of Voting.

as I said … It is a dhobi List .. It is end less!

Captions Log , Star date: 30 04 2009 , 06:00 hours , VOTING DAY:-
Finally!!! The V-Day. It was almost like an endless rush of adrenalin in me. I nearly felt like a proud Indian who was finally going to get to serve his country. Got up at the first ring of my alarm clock ( which has never happened before) , Fresh and equipped with my “VOTERS ID”, I walked out, with pumped up chest, running the list of candidates through my head for final check, before I could press that crucial button on the Ballot Machine, believing that ” My Vote” was the deciding vote for our COUNRTY .
I flashed my “Voters ID” at the Booth Level Officer , almost as if it was a pass conferring, my diplomatic immunity to enter any port of this world, let alone a polling booth outside my society I had lived for life. The bubble burst…”Tumcha Nav Nahin Aahe!!!”. These four words just sucked the life out of me.

NO NAME ON VOTERS LIST ! How is that possible … ” I HAVE A VOTERS ID !!!! ” I frantically searched for my identity in the entire list, both English and Hindi lists, and of other Poll Booths too :) , hoping that it would have been jumbled around or may be I might have been assigned to a different Father/Family or something (Jokes apart …. My Father’s , fathers name, on his list is some weird name having no relation what-so-ever)… I was like “Jason Bourne” trying to find “WHO I WAS , WHERE I WAS” . The tragic ending to my story was that there was NO HOPE for me. I gave up almost after an hour + later …

Completely Embarrassed and Lost. On my walk back home, I was totally deflated, I felt like people were looking through me … I WAS A CIPHER… A NOBODY!!!! (I never wanted to believe, when my wife used to tell me that :) … NOW it is officially proved)

PS. I have a VOTERS ID for sale…!


Apr 25 2009

A Hazard Called Women!

hazard


Apr 25 2009

THE MEN RULES!

THE MAN RULES : AT LAST A GUY HAS TAKEN THE TIME TO WRITE THIS ALL DOWN, WE ALWAYS HEAR ” the rules” FROM THE FEMALE SIDE. NOW HERE ARE THE RULES FROM THE MALE SIDE. THESE ARE OUR RULES!
PLEASE NOTE.. THESE ARE ALL NUMBERED “1” ON PURPOSE!

 

1. MEN ARE NOT MIND READERS.


1. LEARN TO WORK THE TOILET SEAT.
YOU’RE A BIG GIRL. IF IT’S UP, PUT IT DOWN.
WE NEED IT UP, YOU NEED IT DOWN.
YOU DON’T HEAR US COMPLAINING ABOUT YOU LEAVING IT DOWN.


1. SUNDAY SPORTS IT’S LIKE THE FULL MOON
OR THE CHANGING OF THE TIDES.
LET IT BE.


1. CRYING IS BLACKMAIL.


1. ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT.
LET US BE CLEAR ON THIS ONE:
SUBTLE HINTS DO NOT WORK!
STRONG HINTS DO NOT WORK!
OBVIOUS HINTS DO NOT WORK!
JUST SAY IT!


1. YES AND NO ARE PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE ANSWERS TO ALMOST EVERY QUESTION..


1. COME TO US WITH A PROBLEM ONLY IF YOU WANT HELP SOLVING IT. THAT’S WHAT WE DO.
SYMPATHY IS WHAT YOUR GIRLFRIENDS ARE FOR.


1. ANYTHING WE SAID 6 MONTHS AGO IS INADMISSIBLE IN AN ARGUMENT.
IN FACT, ALL COMMENTS BECOME NULL AND VOID AFTER 7 DAYS.


1. IF YOU THINK YOU’RE FAT, YOU PROBABLY ARE.
DON’T ASK US.


1. IF SOMETHING WE SAID CAN BE INTERPRETED TWO WAYS AND ONE OF THE WAYS MAKES YOU SAD OR ANGRY, WE MEANT THE OTHER ONE


1. YOU CAN EITHER ASK US TO DO SOMETHING
OR TELL US HOW YOU WANT IT DONE.
NOT BOTH.
IF YOU ALREADY KNOW BEST HOW TO DO IT, JUST DO IT YOURSELF.


1. WHENEVER POSSIBLE, PLEASE SAY WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO SAY DURING COMMERCIALS. .


1. CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS DID NOT NEED DIRECTIONS AND NEITHER DO WE.


1. ALL MEN SEE IN ONLY 16 COLORS, LIKE WINDOWS DEFAULT SETTINGS.
PEACH, FOR EXAMPLE, IS A FRUIT, NOT A COLOR. PUMPKIN IS ALSO A FRUIT.
WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT MAUVE IS.


1. IF IT ITCHES, IT will BE SCRATCHED.
WE DO THAT.


1. IF WE ASK WHAT IS WRONG AND YOU SAY “NOTHING,” WE WILL ACT LIKE NOTHING’S WRONG.
WE KNOW YOU ARE LYING, BUT IT IS JUST NOT WORTH THE HASSLE.


1. IF YOU ASK A QUESTION YOU DON’T WANT AN ANSWER TO,
EXPECT AN ANSWER YOU DON’T WANT TO HEAR.


1. WHEN WE HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE, ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING YOU WEAR IS FINE… REALLY .


1. DON’T ASK US WHAT WE’RE THINKING ABOUT UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED TO DISCUSS SUCH TOPICS AS BASEBALL
OR golf.


1. You have enough clothes.


1. You have too many shoes.


1. I am in shape. ROUND IS A SHAPE!


1. THANK YOU FOR READING THIS.
YES, I KNOW, I HAVE TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH TONIGHT;

 

BUT DID YOU KNOW MEN REALLY DON’T MIND THAT? IT’S LIKE CAMPING.


Apr 24 2009

Sumi-E Day 7 … Just Practicing

Nothing to say … Still have to get some material… maybe tomw …!!!! tried out a few techniques like the moon and shilouette one … Oh Yeah!  i had to point this out … the actual painting doesn’t  look as good , until it is mounted onto a proper photoframe … 

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Apr 23 2009

SUMI E : Day 5,6 … definite progress!

Actually there was no day 5 . I was pretty busy yesterday to  do any practice but  Day 6 was fruitful. The drawings today are definitely showing progress , but still no where close to the  real thing.  Im already begining to feel the need for some books , proper Chinese Ink and Brushes and ofcourse some Rice paper.  What you can see below is using the school grade  water colors on photo copier paper.  I must move on to cartridge sheets atleast.  This weekend I’m planing to visit town to hunt for near authentic materials … Im getting closer you see! … 

PS…. and I made my signature look like chinese too :) …and Everybody who wants to get considered for receiving a FREE  masterpeice, consider joining this site  now (on the right …) !!!! :) …  

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Apr 20 2009

Day 3/4 of SUMI E…

I seem to have definitely improved on my SUMI E talents on the Day 3 and 4 . Getting a bit close to the INK and WASH harmony of the SUMI E paintings :) … Aint I? Oh Well! Please! Its not bad for a beginner … Look at the difference between my earlier strokes with these … much lighter and smoother . I tried to ink wash some Gold Fishes too…

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Apr 20 2009

Glass Painting … Just a doodle

You know what… any bold doodle and a variety of glass colors on a plain white transparent bottle, looks like a masterpiece, really… I would say, this is some art, that every who awe’s over other peoples art forms, thinking ” I can never create anything as interesting as that one … ” TRY THIS … really!
No twaddle…The day before Smita and I tried some. She did the more interesting one… the one with Mehendi sort of design. I did try and incorporate my Chinese INK and WASH techniques here too :)

PS. Thanks to Shivani and Aneri to introduce us to this interesting passtime!

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Apr 17 2009

I like Chinese Painting, Try It!

Been thinking about trying hands on water color painting for a long while now, but sincerely thought that it could never be my forte.
An old A4 size cartridge sheet drawing book,  a few small paint brushes ,  A palate of cheap school water colors ( borrowed from my 7 year old Nephew) ,  a few tutorials on YouTube , a little patience, two sleepless nights  and little hardwork LATER …. here are the results . Not as good, but Im quite chuffed. There is scope for improvement … :)!

I quite liked and recommend Chinese painting because it seems easy to follow and results are quick ( as you can already see).
Next Task : Painting on Glass Bottles !!!!  … Tomorrow!surely!


Apr 14 2009

Sign Spotting

Found a few funny sign boards at signspotting.com … here’s a few that  I found amusing …

Got time for more laughs? … http://www.signspotting.com

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Apr 11 2009

Unhappiness & Expectations

“Unhappiness is best defined as the difference between our talents and our expectations”

– Edward de Bono (Francis Charles Publius) Maltese Psychologist and Writer, leading authority in field of creative thinking. b.1933)


 
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