Expressing Myself

When you cant go around it … You have to go through it

…ND

A family in Gujarat was puzzled when the coffin of their dead mother (Ba) arrived from the US . It was sent
by one of the daughters.

The dead body was very tightly squeezed inside the coffin, with no space left in it when they opened the lid; they found a letter on top addressed to her brothers and sisters:

Dear Chandrakantbhai, Arvindbhai, Smitaben and Varsha,

I am sending Ba’s body to you, since it was her wish that she should be cremated in the compound of our ancestral home in GUJARAT.

Sorry, I could not come along as all of my paid leave is consumed.

You will find inside the coffin, under Ba’s body, cans of cheese, 10 packets of Tobler chocolates and 8 packets of Badam (peanuts) please divide these among all of you.

On Ba’s feet you will find a new pair of Reebok shoes (size 10) for Mohan. There are also 2 pairs of shoes for Radha’s and Lakshmi’s sons. Hope the sizes are correct.

Ba is wearing 6 American T-Shirts. The large size is for Mohan.

Just distribute the rest among yourselves.

The 2 new Jeans that Ba is wearing are for the boys.

The Swiss watch that Reema wanted is on Ba’s left wrist. Shanta masi, Ba is wearing the necklace,
earrings and ring that you asked for. Please take them off her..

The 6 white cotton socks that Ba is wearing must be divided among my nephews.

Please distribute all these fairly.
Love Smita.

PS : If anything more required let me know soon as Bapuji is also not feeling too well nowadays.

Real courage is being afraid to do something … and doing it anyway!!!!

I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married.

There was only one little thing bothering me….It was her beautiful younger sister.

My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less.. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view. It had to be deliberate. Because she never did it when she was near anyone else.

One day her ‘little’ sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn’t overcome… She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister..
Well, I was in total shock, and couldn’t say a word.
She said, ‘I’m going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me..’

I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.
Lord… and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!

With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, ‘We are very happy that you have passed our little test… We couldn’t ask for a better man for our daughter.
Welcome to the family.’

And the moral of this story is:
Always keep your condoms in your car..

“whatever can go wrong… will go wrong”

– Murphy’s Law

Praise Yourself … Feel Good… For Free

– ND

Has to the cartoon of the year … guess what … I’ m thinking,  Ad of the year

“Get your Diploma in Organised Crime .  Crash Courses offered in most cities.
GOVT. Recognised. Approved by LET .  
100% Placement…. Guaranteed!”

I could be impossible … because I exist

…ND

I’d rather MESS-UP than MISS-OUT …

ND

Abnormal is the NEW Normal …

ND