Aug 18 2011

From the “LAND OF LUNGI”, Gods Own Country

Another tribute to my Mallu relatives ….Love you all!!!!

Travelling in a snow white amby
With my driver & his name was thampi
Said he was a recent gulf retunee
Gave me a soda of brandy
Welcome to the land of lungi
Everybody here calls it God’s own country
Appam stew & meen curry
You better taste I know you like it simply
Got stuck in a jam in delhi
i was sad bcoz I no malum hindi
The cars on the road are so crazy I turn to police said sirjii.. & i come from the land of lungi
Goes well with a khadi sanjee
Everybody here drive like monkey..
Road is good but traffic here, Excuse me!!! Mammookaaaa… mamookaaa… mamookaaaa Met a man in a bar in dubai Thick mustahe having beef curry Said his T shirt was lacoste Big gold chain & misthubushi He come from the land of lungi
Everybody here calls it God’s own country
Double stitch and call it kailli..
Wear it white with starch call it dothi I come from the land of lungi
Women sweet men are very hairy
Lift the cloth show off your one good knee You become very very sexy
Welcome to the land of lungi
Kappa beef fish molee Weather is hot & food is spicy
Better taste i know you like it simply

Land of Lungi official music video:
starring Colin ‘Krishna’, Jamie, Martin, Benjamin Chacko, Julieta , Dominique, Chiara, Antara Chacko, Xan Chacko and Yohan Chacko with guest appearances by Sanil, Bhuvaneshan, Narayanan and Chacko
Shot completely at Mankotta Island, Kerala

Oct 11 2010

How to start a fight?

One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery
plot as a Christmas gift… The next year, I didn’t buy her a gift.
When she asked me why, I replied, “Well, you still haven’t used
the gift I bought you last year!”
And that’s how the fight started…..

My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire
while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, ‘Do you want
to have Sex?’ ‘No,’ she answered. I then said, ‘Is that your
final answer?’
She didn’t even look at me this time, simply saying, ‘Yes..’
So I said, “Then I’d like to phone a friend.”
And that’s when the fight started…

I took my wife to a restaurant.The waiter, for some reason,
took my order first. “I’ll have the rump steak, rare, please.”
He said, “Aren’t you worried about the mad cow?”
“Nah, she can order for herself.”
And that’s when the fight started…..

My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion,
and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he
sat alone at a nearby table.
I asked her, “Do you know him?”
“Yes”, she sighed, “He’s my old boyfriend…. I understand he took
to drinking right after we split up those many years ago and I hear
he hasn’t been sober since.”
“My God!” I said, “Who would think a person could go on celebrating
that long?”
And then the fight started…

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn’t run, my wife kept hinting to me
that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take
care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer. It was always something more
important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.
When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily
snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for
a short time and then went into the house.. I was gone only a minute and
when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. I said,
“When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway.”
The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.

My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked,
“What’s on TV?” I said, “Dust.”
And then the fight started…

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch and
slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the van and
proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing
50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio and then
I discovered that the weather would be bad all day. I went back into the
house, quietly undressed and slipped back into bed.. I cuddled up to my
wife’s back, now with a different anticipation and whispered,
“The weather out there is terrible.”
My loving wife of 5 years replied, “And, can you believe my stupid husband
is out fishing in that?”
And that’s how the fight started…

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, “I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds .”
I bought her a bathroom scale.
And then the fight started……

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security.
The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver’s License to verify my
age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the
woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.
The woman said, ‘Unbutton your shirt’. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly
silver hair. She said, ‘That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me’ and
she processed my Social Security application. When I got home, I excitedly told
my wife about my experience at the Social Security office… She said,
‘You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.’
And then the fight started…

Jul 29 2010

An Interesting GENIUS that is Albert Einstein

Honored by Time magazine as the Man of the Century , Dr. Albert Einstein life has so many interesting stories … heres a few …

  • One day during a speaking tour, Albert Einstein’s driver, who often sat at the back of the hall during his lectures, remarked that he could probably give the lecture himself, having heard it so many times. Sure enough, at the next stop on the tour, Einstein and the driver switched places, with Einstein sitting at the back in his driver’s uniform.
    Having delivered a flawless lecture, the driver was asked a difficult question by a member of the audience. “Well, the answer to that question is quite simple,” he casually replied. “I bet my driver, sitting up at the back there, could answer it…”
  • Albert Einstein’s wife often suggested that he dress more professionally when he headed off to work. “Why should I?” he would invariably argue. “Everyone knows me there.” When the time came for Einstein to attend his first major conference, she begged him to dress up a bit. “Why should I?” said Einstein. “No one knows me there!”
  • Albert Einstein was often asked to explain the general theory of relativity. “Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour,” he once declared. “Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That’s relativity!”
  • When Albert Einstein was working in Princeton university, one day he was going back home he forgot his home address. The driver of the cab did not recognise him. Einstein asked the driver if he knows Einstein’s home. The driver said “Who does not know Einstein’s address? Everyone in Princeton knows.Do you want to meet him?”. Einstein replied “I am Einstein. I forgot my home address, can you take me there? “The driver reached him to his home and did not even collect his fare from him .

    Einstein was once traveling from Princeton on a train when the conductor came down the aisle, punching the tickets of every passenger. When he came to Einstein, Einstein reached in his vest pocket. He couldn’t find his ticket, so he reached in his trouser pockets. It wasn’t there, so he looked in his briefcase but couldn’t find it. Then he looked in the seat beside him. He still couldn’t find it.

    The conductor said, ‘Dr. Einstein, I know who you are. We all know who you are. I’m sure you bought a ticket. Don’t worry about it.’

    Einstein nodded appreciatively. The conductor continued down the aisle punching tickets. As he was ready to move to the next car, he turned around and saw the great physicist down on his hands and knees looking under his seat for his ticket.

    The conductor rushed back and said, ‘Dr. Einstein, Dr. Einstein, don’t worry, I know who you are. No problem. You don’t need a ticket. I’m sure you bought one.’

    Einstein looked at him and said, ‘Young man, I too, know who I am. What I don’t know is where I’m going.”

May 14 2010

Its in the Nature!

Nobody teaches volvanoes to errupt, Tsunamis to arise, Hurricanes to swril.

No one teaches how to choose a wife … Natural disasters just happen!!!!

May 13 2010

Important Message from GOD

… to all women , lying under somebody in the bed and screaming “Oh! My GOD, Oh! My GOD!” will not be considered as PRAYER

Mar 27 2010

Gujarati Funeral….All in good humor!!!

A family in Gujarat was puzzled when the coffin of their dead mother (Ba) arrived from the US . It was sent
by one of the daughters.

The dead body was very tightly squeezed inside the coffin, with no space left in it when they opened the lid; they found a letter on top addressed to her brothers and sisters:

Dear Chandrakantbhai, Arvindbhai, Smitaben and Varsha,

I am sending Ba’s body to you, since it was her wish that she should be cremated in the compound of our ancestral home in GUJARAT.

Sorry, I could not come along as all of my paid leave is consumed.

You will find inside the coffin, under Ba’s body, cans of cheese, 10 packets of Tobler chocolates and 8 packets of Badam (peanuts) please divide these among all of you.

On Ba’s feet you will find a new pair of Reebok shoes (size 10) for Mohan. There are also 2 pairs of shoes for Radha’s and Lakshmi’s sons. Hope the sizes are correct.

Ba is wearing 6 American T-Shirts. The large size is for Mohan.

Just distribute the rest among yourselves.

The 2 new Jeans that Ba is wearing are for the boys.

The Swiss watch that Reema wanted is on Ba’s left wrist. Shanta masi, Ba is wearing the necklace,
earrings and ring that you asked for. Please take them off her..

The 6 white cotton socks that Ba is wearing must be divided among my nephews.

Please distribute all these fairly.
Love Smita.

PS : If anything more required let me know soon as Bapuji is also not feeling too well nowadays.

Mar 24 2010

The Wedding Test

I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married.

There was only one little thing bothering me….It was her beautiful younger sister.

My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less.. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view. It had to be deliberate. Because she never did it when she was near anyone else.

One day her ‘little’ sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn’t overcome… She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister..
Well, I was in total shock, and couldn’t say a word.
She said, ‘I’m going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me..’

I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.
Lord… and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!

With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, ‘We are very happy that you have passed our little test… We couldn’t ask for a better man for our daughter.
Welcome to the family.’

And the moral of this story is:
Always keep your condoms in your car..

Mar 20 2010

Cartoon of the year!


Has to the cartoon of the year … guess what … I’ m thinking,  Ad of the year

“Get your Diploma in Organised Crime .  Crash Courses offered in most cities.
GOVT. Recognised. Approved by LET .  
100% Placement…. Guaranteed!”

Dec 31 2009

Virginity Check

A young man was  planning to get married and asked his doctor how he could tell if  his bride is a virgin.

The doctor  said, ‘Well, you need three things. A can of red paint, a  can of blue paint and a shovel..’

The man was  astonished and asked, ‘So what do I do with these?’

The doc  replied, ‘Before the wedding night, you paint your one ball  red and the other ball blue.   If she says, ‘That’s the strangest pair of balls I ever saw’, you hit her head with the shovel.’

Nov 7 2009

A Tribute to my Malayalee Relatives …

Hotel Kerlafonia not by the eagles 🙂